Actually, Big Gurls Do Cry

Hello to all of my lovely readers! It has been about a week since I've settled into Yonkers so it's definitely time for a little update.

Paying my landlord(who is an awesome Irish lady!) made me feel like I was finally an adult. But let me be a little honest. Settling into the so-called adult life is not as glamourous as I expected. I am really going to have to be smart about how and where I spend my money because this gurl is on a tight budget. This goes for everything from essentials like toothpaste and bath soap to food. And being the foodie that I am, I will share with you some places I have found in NYC that are pretty cheap if you want to just grab a quick bite to eat. And I do mean quick. The places I'm going to tell you about have barely any room to sit and next to no customer service. I found a pizza place called 2 Bros Pizza that has a deal for 2 slices of plain cheese pizza a drink for $2.75. How can you beat that in the Big Apple? I also decided to venture out into Chinatown and explore a little bit to take a break from cover letters and e-mails. I found a place called Fried Dumpling and they offer 5 dumplings for a dollar. Of course I will be honest and say that these are not great dumplings but when you're looking for something cheap it does the trick. I also stumbled upon a bakery that had AMAZING pork buns. They are only 80 cents a pop so I had to try one. I don't think I've ever had a better pork bun in my life. The dough was soft and slightly sweet and the pork filling was so tender.! If you are ever in Chinatown you should definitely stop by Mei Li Wah Bakery and try one of these little treats.

So moving on from food. I have had to seek out free wifi since we don't have internet yet in the apartment. I have a monthly metro card so I go into the city pretty often. I think I am here almost everyday. Obviously in NYC it's pretty easy to find a spot where I can pick up wifi. I usually will go to the public library or Starbucks for some free internet access. So in that department I am totally set.

Like I mentioned it's been a week since I got to the area so I am starting to feel completely settled in. But how does it really feel? I feel terrified, excited, happy, anxious, unsure, and angry. Those emotions flow in and out of me at anytime during the day. I am terrified because I honestly don't know what the future holds. Nobody knows. I don't know how long this adventure of mine will last. This fear is what leads to my anxiety over job hunting. Part of me is ready and willing to write the cover letter, attach it to my resume and send it off into the oblivion of cyberspace. That same part is what drives me to do all the "right" things. I call places to do the obligatory followup jig. I contact people(complete strangers at times might I add) in order to network and hear their stories. But the other part of me wants to give up. This is the part I have to hold back and restrain when speaking to my parents. It would be so easy to tell them to have my room ready because I'm coming home. But I don't. And I won't. I'm a tough bitch. This is what I really want and I will get it. That is how I feel.

Oh and by the way. I'm kind of famous.


It's no big. I'm only on a billboard in Amsterdam. Thank you Michael Sharkey. xoxo